Donny and I haven't really even started this adoption process and already I'm sick and tired of the weird things that people say to me. One in particular, "Once you adopt you'll be less stressed out so you'll calm down and you'll get pregnant." Oh, is that how it works? Seriously people! Let's think about this; right now I work only eight hours a day (and I get paid for it), I come home from work, I watch TV, eat some dinner, hang out with my husband, maybe read a little, watch some more TV, make my lunch for work, go to bed by 11:30 and sleep 'til 7am (that's 7.5 hours of sleep). When we have a baby I will get up early in the morning for a feeding, 2 hours later I will change a diaper and feed again, 2 hours later I will do the same thing, over and over and over again for months. I will be working for 24 hours everyday for the rest of my life (and I wont be getting paid!). The baby will most likely scream at some point and maybe for long periods of time which may take a toll on my nerves and ear drums. In between all the feedings, diaper changings, outfit changes from spit up, poop and pee (for the baby and for me) I'll attempt to get some laundry done so there are clean diapers (yes I plan to cloth diaper) and clean clothes for both me and the baby. I also will attempt to make something for dinner as my husband will most likely be working 2 jobs and I'm sure he would enjoy a cooked dinner after a 16 hour day of work. If I'm lucky I'll get a shower so my hair is actually clean instead of glued to itself from oil, spit up, sweat and tears. Oh yeah, I should probably do Donny's laundry too since he'll be working every day and night. I'd also like to leave the house every now and then so my family and friends can get to know my little one. That will require a little planning on my part since I may be gone most of the day for a visit or a play date. That means the night before, in between all the night feedings and delirium from lack of sleep, I should probably pack for the following day all the diapers, clothes, formula and such that the baby might need. Somewhere in there my husband and I will need to make time for our marriage and make sure that Donny is getting enough time with the baby in between his 2 jobs. On top of all that day to day stuff we'll have to deal with the bonding issue. Because we will not be birthing this baby ourselves bonding may be a bit difficult. It is not a natural situation and as much as we will love that baby, building the connection that comes naturally when you birth will take time for us. I've read for some mothers it took 6 months or more. So, while I'm running on no sleep, caring for a child that is screaming at me, and being a first time mom so I'm not sure what it wants, I'll also be worrying about all of us bonding. So thank you, thank you so much for saying that to me. I can totally see now how having a new born baby is way less stressful than the life I lead now. I feel so enlightened. Did I mention that an adoption will cost $30,000? Right, that's not stressful at all on one income. Note to people out there, I know you may mean well, but don't ever say this to a women that is adopting and/or dealing with infertility. If you want to think it then feel free but don't open your mouth and say it!
(Stay tuned for part 2 on this.....it's not venting and less harsh. It's what I think about that comment on a spiritual level.)
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