Connection

My sweet husband recently had to work everyday for almost three weeks. He never got home before midnight. I was asleep most nights before he got home. We had just a few short conversations in that three week period. It totally sucked but it was only temporary. I felt so disconnected from him and was desperate to see him. When we did get a few minutes to talk it felt like a business meeting. Sharing dates for appointments we need to be at, asking him what he wanted in his lunch the next day, trying to update him on any family stuff, etc. Most nights I just sat at home feeling totally alone, like I wasn't married. It was weird.

We used to live that way all the time. The first few years of our marriage we didn't make much time for just the two of us. Donny was working two jobs, working on youth ministry and playing in the church band. I was working full time and working on youth ministry. My free time was full of hanging out with students or friends. If we had time together we often saw our friends or family. We were having a great time. It was a really fun time in life. We had no idea what the lack of time together was doing to our relationship.

So, the other night Donny was finally home after these three crazy weeks and I was just so excited to see him and desperate for a conversation with him. But he was also annoying me for no apparent reason. One minute I would be asking him what he wanted to do that evening or asking about his day and the next minute I just wanted to hit him or something. I couldn't figure out why I was feeling that way. I was so frustrated and upset that I wasn't treating Donny the way I should have.

 The next day is when I started thinking about how we used to live this way and how now I see the disconnect that so easily and quickly can happen in a marriage. When a couple does not have regular scheduled and unscheduled time together you get disconnected. Communication breaks down, barriers go up, other things take priority. A couple needs time to just share regular life together, laugh together, go some where together, have meaningful conversations together. I think my attitude towards Donny was so poor the other night because I was just so disconnected from him and we needed time to get reconnected. I was mad it wasn't happening instantly. I realized we had totally been living separate lives for three weeks and it was going to take a little bit to get back into the swing of life together.

As women I think we are better, sometimes, at connecting with our friends than our own husbands. I know that is true for me. I often find myself thinking "I haven't seen (insert name here) in like 24 hours. I really need to catch up with them." But do I think that way about my husband? I didn't use to and sadly it didn't seem to bother either of us. How crafty satan is. It's not difficult for him to sneak in busyness which starts to separate us. It is his goal to keep us from God and he easily does that by keeping us from each other. But God's plan is different! This is not new information yet I so easily forget.

A lot of things have happened in our marriage the past few years and I'm glad to say it has grown and matured a lot and things are totally different between the two of us. Both of us were upset about our lack of time together over those three weeks. I love my time with Donny. I look forward to it. Instead of filling my free time with anything but time with Donny I fill it first with time with him and then other stuff. Our time together is still limited as he is still working two jobs. But that will end soon and I'm looking forward to actually being home together every night. We have never had that before. :)

So, the little reminder I got this week...... don't let life separate me from my husband! :)