A Calling....

I've always wanted a calling on my life. I mean, I know God calls every christian to live a life glorifying to Him. Now this may sound selfish but I always wanted something more. Like missionaries who get a more specific calling. Its not that I want something more than what God has already called all Christians to do, its the specific direction that I've always wanted. I'm the type of person that likes to have a plan. And I usually have a back up plan. Let's be honest, I have a back up plan for the back up plan. :) I'm a planner! So, this idea of a specific call/direction on my life has always been appealing to me. If I knew what God wanted me to be or where He wanted me to go then I could just map out a course and head towards that. Like, if He said, be a nurse. Ok, cool, I know what to do. I gotta go back to school and get my AA, get into a nursing program, etc, etc, etc, and then BAM! serve God being a nurse. So, I've prayed, I've asked God to tell me what to be or where to go, I've sat silent waiting for God to speak, and then I've begged and begged and begged. I've even, I'm sad to admit, just gone ahead and done whatever I wanted. I've tended to be a bit negative through this process of trying to find my calling and feeling like God wasn't answering. I get in these weird places where all I see is the negative and I'm just pissed and unhappy. You'd think after almost 30 years I would just give up and give in. Nope, not me, I'm too determined. Or stubborn, as my mother likes to call it. I do recognize this about myself and I've been trying to work on it. I think I've had way more failures than successes but there have been a few successes. Which brings me to the point of this blog....I KNOW MY CALLING!!!!!

I've said before that I know God wants Donny and I to adopt. The past couple months I've really been thinking about this and realized that its more than just He wants us to, He has CALLED us to. God asks all christians to care for orphans but that doesn't mean every single christian should bring a child into their family/home. Maybe they help by giving financially or emotionally. Maybe they volunteer their time to organizations that help orphans. Maybe they go on short term missions trips to bless orphanages around the world. There is the group of people that God CALLS, that God asks, to bring these children into their families and homes to love them, care for them, and provide for them as their own. God doesn't call everyone to this. Just like He doesn't call everyone to be a missionary overseas or to be a pastor. But like these other callings it is something unique, something special, set aside for only a few. How awesome is that! I can't believe that God has called us to this. He thinks, no, knows that we can do this. He will provide a way. This was His plan all along. WE ARE CALLED TO ADOPT! I don't know how He is going to get us there but tonight I don't really care about that. Tonight I'm just basking in the joy of finally knowing, really knowing, my/our calling. Praise the Lord! :)