Sunday, December 5, 2010
Purpose...
I have been feeling a little uninspired this past month. It's been a difficult month all around. I've been mostly struggling with the fact that I don't feel like I have a purpose anymore. When I was working with the youth kids I felt like I had a purpose, a job to do. Not that it should be all about me, that's not what I'm saying. I mean now all I do is work and because of the hours I work I'm not available to volunteer anymore. I feel lost without volunteer work. I have been asking God for direction and asking Him what He wants for this time in my life. Maybe He wants me to just be working and focusing on our finances for now. But I have such a hard time accepting that because in the Bible He was constantly serving others, giving to people, others first, Himself last. And He is our example, right? But here I sit, not serving anyone. I get up in the morning, eat breakfast, get ready for work, go to work, work 8 hours or so, go home, eat dinner, go to bed. Lame! I feel cornered, like theres no solution to this. Well, until God does something else in my life. The waiting is the most frustrating part.
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I've been missing ministry lately too. Seems like all I've been doing is waiting, waiting, waiting. I know it's a hard place to be, hon. I keep telling myself that God can use me anywhere and maybe someone who is watching us will be ministered to by how we respond to our circumstances. I hope so. For now, I have to trust that God has me right where He needs me to be and I have to quit worrying and trying to plan my future. If it's one thing I've learned this year it's that I can never know what the future will hold. Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteMOM
You are right to point out from the Bible that Jesus was constantly serving and giving to others. You are right to say that honoring God with your finances is important as well.
ReplyDeleteI think its good to look at it from the perspective that you are already in full-time ministry. We all are. You are called to be a witness and encouragement at your work, you are called to be a good and faithful wife, you are called to be involved in a community of Christ followers. Service has its hand in each of those callings. I do think that doing things that are specifically Kingdom focused as well is good. And maybe prayer outside the box to see how the Lord wants to use your evenings and days off would be in order to see what He has and then ACT on that.
Well, I was going to try to leave some encouraging words, but I really can't follow Mom's because she said it all and ROCKS hardcore. So, I'll just say I love you. :)
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